如何“点亮”高考作文
方彦青
新课标高考英语考试说明要求考生根据题示进行书面表达。考生应能：（1）准确使用语法和词汇；（2）使用一定的句型、词汇，清楚、连贯地表达自己的意思。而第五档(21-25分)作文评分标准为：
1. 覆盖所有内容要点。
2. 应用了较多的语法结构和词汇。
3. 语法结构或词汇方面有些许错误，但为尽力使用较复杂结构或较高级词汇所致;具备较强的语言运用能力。
4. 有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑。
因此，高考作文要想得高分，仅仅做到要点齐全、语句通顺还不够，还需要增加句子的复杂性，即为作文增加一些“亮点”。在多年的教学中我总结了增加作文“亮点”的几个小手段，希望能对参加高考的同学有所帮助。
一、改变句子的开头方式。不要清一色的主语开头，后加谓语、宾语，外加一个状语。可以把状语置于句首，或使用分词、不定式、With复合结构作状语等。
原文: I hope you would like the plan and join us.
修正: Hopefully, you would like the plan and join us.
原文: The young man couldn’t help crying when he heard the bad news. 修正: Hearing the bad news，the young man couldn’t help crying.
精彩例句：
（1）Usually, no matter how far away or how busy we are, we will try to come home for the celebration.
（2）In order to encourage the students to take outdoor exercise, our school organized a mountain-climbing on April 10.
（3）Bathed in sunshine, we jumped and cheered with joy.
（4）With English words getting popular in both media and daily life, a Chinese dictionary has included 239 of them, leaving the public divided into two opposing groups: “For” and “Against.”
二、句式转换。为了避免单一的句式结构，可通过句式转换，将陈述句转换为倒装句、强调句、疑问句、省略句、感叹句等多种句式。
1. 强调句
原文：My parents praised Ah Fu warmly. It had saved my little sister bravely.
修正：My parents praised Ah Fu warmly. It was our brave Ah Fu who had saved my little sister bravely.
精彩例句：
(1)My experience tells me that it is not what you are given but how you make use of it that determines who you are.
(2)Also, do let me know if you need further information.
2. 倒装句
原文：We can achieve our goal in this way.
修正：Only in this way can we achieve our goal.
原文：I have never seen such a wonderful film before.
修正：Never before have I seen such a wonderful film.
精彩例句：
(1)Should fish die from serious pollution, so would man!
(2)Not only has it hurt the feelings of the Chinese people but also it brought shame toFrance.
(3)Only in this way can they grow up to be independent and become truly successful.
3. 省略句
原文：The school rules state that no child shall be allowed out of the school during the day, unless he/she was accompanied by an adult..
修正：The school rules state that no child shall be allowed out of the school during the day, unless accompanied by an adult.
原文：If I were you., I would take more exercise to keep fit.
修正：Were I you, I would take more exercise to keep fit.
精彩例句：
(1)Some students think that a difficult exam is just like a challenge．The harder, the better．
(2) If partly rebuilt, it will provide a comparison and help us remember the history.
4. 疑问句
原文：I know your company isn’t far from home. You can walk to the office.
修正：Your company isn’t far from home, is it? Why not walk to the office?
精彩例句：
(1)Even worse, if there were no change about that, diseases would spread at a very quick speed. Is there anything that can be worse than this?
(2)Would you please meet my uncle at the airport and take him to his hotel since this is the first visit to theU.S.? Thank you in advance!
5. 感叹句
原文：It was a wonderful day.
修正：What a wonderful day it was!
精彩例句：
Each of them is crying, “Where is my home?” What a terrible sight!
三、句式合并。通过合句，将两个或两个以上的简单句转换成并列句、主从复合句或分词作状语等形式，增强句子的连贯性、表现力和复杂性。
原文：He stopped us half an hour ago. He made us catch the next offender. 修正：He stopped us half an hour ago and made us catch the next offender. 原文：We had a short rest. Then we began to play happily. We sang and danced. Some told stories. Some played chess.
修正：After a short rest，we had great fun singing and dancing，telling jokes and playing chess.
原文：China has achieved a lot in recent years. Its achievement is known through the world.
修正：(1)What China has achieved in recent years is known through the world.
(2)It is known through the world thatChinahas achieved a lot in recent years.
(3)As is known through the world,Chinahas achieved a lot in recent years.
(4)Chinahas achieved a lot in recent years, which is known through the world.
精彩例句：
(1)Besides, you can introduce a western festival, such as the Christmas Day, the New Year or the Thanksgiving Day, which must be not only meaningful but also interesting.
(2) At noon or after school we play ball games, swimming and running.
(3) What’s more, it is believed that people now take a more positive attitude to tourism, and regard it as a life style.
四、使用插入语、关联词或过渡词。恰当的使用过渡性词汇，可以使文章有行云流水、一气呵成之感。常用词语有：
1.并列与递进: then(然后)，besides(还有)，furthermore(而且)，moreover(此外)，not only…but also(不但……而且)，for one thing…for another（一则……二则）等。
2.转折: however(然而)，but(但是)，on the country(相反)，after all(毕竟)等。
3.总结:finally(最后)，at last(最后)，in brief(总之)，in conclusion(最后)等。
4.强调: indeed(确实)，certainly(一定)，surely(确定)，above all(尤其)等。
5.对比: in the same way(同样地)，just as(正如)，on the one hand…on the other hand(一方面……另一方面)等。
精彩例句：
（1）In short, not only has the inclusion poisoned Chinese, it may also bring about distance between the Chinese people.
（2）In fact, Chinese has never stopped taking words from other languages, say, “ganbu” or “minzhu” from Japanese.
（3）Besides, it is, on some occasions, more convenient to use English words.
五、长短句相结合。段落中既要有简单句，也要有复合句，长短结合，使得文章错落有致。如：
Here are some details about this activity. （简单句）To begin with, we will leave the school by bus at 8:00 AM and return at 5:00 PM.（并列句） Besides, there will be a lot of activities such as making Chinese dumplings and giving performances, which will be not only meaningful but also interesting.（复合句）
六、多种时态、主动被动语态相结合。根据提供的情景，确定作文的主体时间如现在、过去、将来后，可将一般、完成、进行等多种时态及主动被动语态相结合，增加文章的动感。如：
（1）Over the past ten months, we have been busy in preparing for this examination.（现在完成时） Besides listening to teachers carefully in class, we often work deep into night.（一般现在时）
（2）Though we lead a better life, our health is becoming worse now.（现在进行时） So "EXERCISE ONE HOUR A DAY，KEEP ILLNESS AWAY" has been raised by the government.（现在完成时被动语态）
七、使用“较复杂的词汇”。
1.使用词组、习语来代替一些单词，以增加文采。如:
原文：A new railway is being built in my hometown.
修正：A new railway is under construction in my hometown.
2. 使用一些很有“洋味”的单词，使得语言更加地道。如:
原文：Factories, schools, hospitals, cinemas and theatres have been built one after another. .
修正：Factories, schools, hospitals, cinemas and theatres have sprung up one after another. .
3. 避免重复使用某一单词或短语。如:
原文：I like reading while my brother likes watching television. 修正：I like reading while my brother enjoys watching television.
